The Sex Lives of Cannibals - Memoirs

My faith in travel memoirs has been restored! After being disturbingly disappointed in EAT LOVE PRAY (see post from Sept.: I and I and I - Book Bashing) I am having fun with J. Maarten Troost's books, THE SEX LIVES OF CANNIBALS and GETTING STONED WITH SAVAGES.

'Sex Lives' is neither about sex nor about cannibals. It is a story of an American couple living in the South Pacific on the small island of Tarawa on the equator. She works and he pretends to write. Meanwhile he chronicles the daily life of the folks typical of many islands of the South Pacific.

On page one, the author describes why they chose to move to this tiny island nation for two years (other than his girlfriend was offered a job there); he states: "It is the nature of books such as these--the travel, adventure, humor, memoir kind of book--to offer some reason, some driving force, an irreproachable motivation, for undertaking the odd journey.....And typically, the writer emerges a little wiser, a little kinder, more spiritual, with a greater appreciation for the interconnectivity of all things."

About himself, he says, "Let me say at the top that I didn't have a particularly good reason for moving to Tarawa......(explanation of anxiety issues with the general course of Western society)......However, these issues seemed insufficient to justify a renunciation of continental comfort. I was simply restless, quite likely because of a dissatisfaction with the recent trajectory of my life, and if there is a better, more compelling reason for dropping everything and moving to the end of the world, I know not what it is."

I like this guy and I like his attitude. I lent the book to a friend here and she returned my autographed copy (Thanks, Cousin Amy!) with an additional copy that I can safely lend out PLUS the new book, GETTING STONED WITH SAVAGES. (Thanks, Janet!) I just started reading the second book. So far he is getting stoned on kava in Vanuatu and it is hilarious.

Maybe I relate to his books because of my own South Pacific experiences. My husband and I sailed a very bare boat from Hawaii to Samoa, Tonga and Fiji with two crazy guys. We stayed weeks at a time in remote anchorages, lagoons and harbors. We lived for seven months in Fiji working on Qamea Island, which, starting from Nadi where the international airport is located, is a three hour flight, thirty minute taxi ride, and twenty minute boat ride away. There was nothing there except an exclusive resort with 11 bures (palapas!). I had to shop for food for the guests on another island because there was not even a small store on Qamea. I can picture the scenes that J. Maarten Troost paints. Mostly, though, I think he offers the kind fodder that we terminal adventure animals need to survive.

Wanderlust. Another person addicted to adventure. His reading is quick and witty. When I finish writing "I WAS A WETBACK IN MEXICO" I hope to capture this kind of essence....a taste of the rest of the universe outside the sterile environment of the United States. Five stars.

I and I and I and I and I....Book Bashing

A good friend of mine sent me the book EAT LOVE PRAY by Elizabeth Gilbert several months back. Many friends had recommended it as an excellent read, so I dove in for some inspiration. I loved the first chapter. The only thought that recurred in my brain was: this should be MY book with MY story! And so I read on.

I think the first time it occurred to me that something was upsetting me was the whole ashram thing. A guru who you follow like the Northern Star but you have never met? I know it is pretty hip to be into yoga and have a guru. Her motivation for spending months at a specific ashram, where she never did meet her special guru who guides her life, seemed insincere.

But by the time she got to Indonesia I did not even want to finish the book. I did not like her at all. This is what went through my head: "You selfish, self-serving bitch!" She came off as feeling superior to the Balinese people, and the purchase of the house for her friend seemed to be nothing more than a pat on her back on what a wonderful and generous person she was.

I was actively working on a memoir. After finishing EAT LOVE PRAY I have never touched my notes again. There are too many "I's". Italy, India and Indonesia. No problem. I, I, I, I, I, I........me only and me first, problem. I now think I would rather write my story from a fictional vantage point in order to not appear to be boasting about what a wonderful person I am. I, unlike Elizabeth Gilbert, do not have such self confidence and I do not think I am a wonderful person. I doubt my writing would sound as self involved as hers but she has scared me off my memoir.

Recently I read that the divorce that was so difficult for her was her doing. She cheated on her husband, divorced him, and Disney paid her a fortune to travel around the world to write about her recuperation from her self-imposed depression. My husband of twenty years died after suffering a horrible cancer, and all I got was a note to show up to work the day after his funeral and people avoiding me on the street because I was damaged. I had to sell my house and move away to try to recuperate and survive the hideous ordeal. Resentment? You bet. Am I jealous? Of course! She is making a fortune. But I do not dislike the book because I am jealous, i was hoping to be inspired to write my story too. Instead, I ended up with memoirphobia and the fear of being seen as a braggart. If anyone wants to read her book, I have a copy to give away...if I do not burn it first in hopes of a reincarnation of my own lost soul.