Just Another Day in Paradise.....by Lucy Ricardo

Just another Lucy Ricardo day.......one of those days when everything goes awry. I would like to share the events of my day yesterday, because I can't even believe I could make such a mess in one single day. Truly a Lucy Ricardo series of stunts. The good news is I didn't injure myself. That IS the only good news of this story. Read on,

Nov. 14, 2013

I woke up at 8:30am, early for me on a day I don't work til 11am. I decided to do a few projects before work. First the bottled water guys showed up, who deliver potable water on Mondays and Thursdays. I was down to half a 5 gallon bottle, so it was imperative I refill the other three botellones. The water guys agreed to come back after the first round on their route so I could get water for the weekend.


After performing my morning ritual on the throne, so to speak, I flushed and as I grabbed my deodorant the Afrin nose spray I have fell into the toilet. My natural deposit had not all flushed thoroughly and there was still some in the commode. Shit, we don't even put toilet paper in Mexican toilets because they don't process anything that isn't natural very well. But by some hideous twist of fate the Afrin was swallowed up by the big white phone, I mean throne. I had to take action, as disgusting as it was. Yes, I reached in, way in, and no Afrin. I went for the plunger to see if I could plunge the crap down and plunge the Afrin out. I plunged and plunged to no avail. The water came up clear, thanks to the gods, but there is a tube of Afrin stuck somewhere in my pipes. Of course I scrubbed my hands thoroughly and decided a full body shower might help me forget the memory of digging around a dirty toilet.


The project I had in mind was to soak the few pair of flip flops and tennis shoes in a big tub. They were all moldy in my closet due to all the wet weather we have had. Instead of soaking them in the tub in the OUTSIDE shower, I decided to use MY shower. I set the tub down, put in the shoes, threw in some soap and bleach, and turned the water on full blast to fill the tub.


I decided to wash some clothes and headed out to the laundry room to start that task. Then I decided to go to the atm machine at the ADO, withdraw money for the water, and enough to pay my cable bill across the street from the ADO(bus station). I had really screwed up my cable expense this month by making a couple long distance calls that ended up costing me a couple hundred bucks more than my usual cable fees. Since I have Skype, Google Talk and ways to communicate without adding cost, I usually use them if I talk to anyone, but it seemed like a fun idea to not be tied to the computer to talk to a couple good friends. And really talk things out. I was pretty shook up about that bill because money is tight since I bought a cart that I am paying for and won't have the horse until I sell this one. That should be house. But you get the picture. I was upset with myself on two counts. The cable bill and my impulsive nature.

Once I got to the ATM, I put in the card and I entered my pin number. Not the correct pin number, instead I entered the last pin number I had in Kona, Hawaii, six years ago. Don't ask why i went blank, just a slightly panicked brain fart I guess. I tried a second time, and realized I had forgotten my pin. If you try a bad pin three times the machine will keep your card. So I trudged home with no money but debit card safe in hand, cable bill still unpaid, crying like a fool, stuck in the 'what in the world is wrong with me' mindset. I decided to calm down, work my first shift, and try again after that since I had 2 hour break before my second shift.

By the time I'd done all this, it The was time for my 11am shift to begin. I got home and walked into the house I was SHOCKED to see the entire house flooded. Well, my bedroom, bathroom, the dining room, the major bathroom, the studio, and heading toward my office and the kitchen. There must have been at least inch of water EVERYWHERE. Evidently I forgot to turn off the faucet in the shower, and the tub acted as a plug for the drain. The water was just gushing out and spreading as far as it possibly could. I completely broke down then. I called my housekeeper who had just cleaned the day before. I asked if she could come help me out of a big jam. She agreed. Ok, help is on the way.

I signed in to work my fist shift. I started as usual, and immediately had intermittent internet connection problems. Earlier as I walked to that ATM I saw cable guys working and I walked under their ladder. I am not superstitious, or shall I say I was NOT superstitious until now and will no longer walk under ladders. My internet came and went. My phone is cable too so that meant I couldn't communicate my work problems to my co-workers by phone. It was intermittent and I managed to get the message to someone at work. I tried to call Pablo in Tulum because he knows my pin number. A friend had to help me with that one because my cell phone has no money on it, it is basically my alarm clock. Period. I cleared cache and cookies, I rebooted. Still intermittent cable. I swear it was the least productive two hour shift I have ever had. I unplugged the modem, waited a few minutes and reset it. The problem persisted. I was mentally unplugged too! Holy Toledo what a day.

When the shift ended and I had two hours to clean up all my messes. My housekeeper and I moved furniture, tried to get to all the water. I took clean SOAKING WET rugs outside to dry, just washed them on my knees with a brush last week! I carried the items I had piled on the floor ready to pack up outside in an attempt to dry them out. I have been packing little by little because I believe this house sale and purchase will work out in the end. I don't know when, I don't know how, but it has to and it will happen. Jim used to say, 'when something has to happen it will." Meanwhile Magda moved all the water back outside and to drains etc. She de-flooded and I tried to save my things.

I found my pin number, wanted to slap myself for forgetting it... went BACK to a different ATM so the other one didn't snatch my card. I had no time for a trip to the bank to explain my brain freeze if I lost the card to the machine. I managed to make the withdrawal from the new ATM and walked 6 blocks back to ADO where there is an Oxxo, a Mexican 7-11, where they accept cable payments if they are timely. You don't mess with cable here, or they will turn you off so fast.............I paid the cable bill. When I got home the water guys showed up and I got my water. I had withdrawn more money to pay my housekeeper for cleaning the house a second time in two days.
Things were pretty much under control by the time my 2nd shift started. My computer was working ok after the cleaning and rebooting and everything I could think of to end this nightmare for the rest of the day. Except for one new little hurdle. De repente (all of a sudden) it started raining pretty hard. I carefully walked outside and took all the things off the line and brought them inside to hang around the house with fans on the wet items. I had mistakenly put another batch of clothes to wash, all the things that were soaked in my 100 year flood. Those things had to go into another room with my remaining fan while I worked my shift sweating since all fans were being used as clothes dryers. I had to carry in allllllllll the items I'd been piling on the floor to pack up a little at a time because it was all still a little wet and slippery. I set things out in front of the industrial fan so they could dry out.

The house that was so neat and tidy the day before was now looking like something out of HOARDERS. or just some crazy terrible housekeeper. I had put things outside to dry, moved furniture to get behind it, etc. I had to drag all those things in to the fan blaster area. It was a scene to NOT have to behold. I have been packing things up little by little because I am determined to sell this house and move to my new dream house in Buena Vista, Bacalar. I think I cried again and then calmed down, two clonazepam later and an ibuprofen later, and was able to do my shift.

Things were better from then on. I watched Thursday night football, had a good dinner, and just tried to forget hell thursday. The good news, my team won.

Just another day in the life of this stumbling soul. I hope this provided you with a few chuckles, because looking back it is pretty funny, even though it cost a little more of the sanity I have left. LOL. If you would like to make donations to my cause, send me some virtual working brain cells.

Yours truly,
Lucy Ricardo